God's Journey of Friendship

We had some wonderful speakers, who had been friends for many many years, come to speak to us on the topic of friendship. What a beautiful talk that it was....full of laughs and tears and hugs......just like real and true friendships should be!

First of all, they brought up the fact that God is very creative in how he brings friends together, in our busy, busy lives of raising young kids. We have some friends from college, some friends who are in the same station of life, some friends who are a few steps ahead of us in life, some friends God brought us together with through old flames, ex-boyfriends, husbands, coworkers, kids who were playing together in the mall play area then had tantrums when it was time to leave (Ok that was me :) However, however God brings friends into our lives, they are a real and true GIFT!

What makes friendships work anyway? Some things we came up with:
same interests
mutual investment of time and energy
time
sacrificial giving
transparency
forgiveness
trust
having FUN together!

Now, as mothers of young children who are trying our VERY best to raise loving, obedient, God-fearing children, it is sometimes hard to be a good friend....to invest in friendships when we are plain exhausted. But, it is important and we have to be creative with our time!

I Sam. 20:17b- "...And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself."

Another picture of friendship actually occurs when Jesus is in the garden, before He is about to be betrayed then led to the cross. He took his three disciples who were in His inner circle with Him to support Him during this difficult time: Peter, James and John.

Another picture in the Bible of how to DO friendship? Also from Jesus in John 13- Jesus takes his towel and washes the dirt from his disciples feet. He is serving them even in the lowest possible way....and He was the King of all Kings! We need to learn to come alongside our friends and be willing to serve.

Always rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance in friendships. He will direct. He will lead you. He will whisper in your ear when your friend truly needs you. You need to be attentive to His still, small voice.

So, what do we (and should we) look for in our closest confidants? 

Investment- it is costly, to be true, but what we reap is a true gift.
Integrity- have friends in different ages and stages in life- friends who are willing to encourage you...those who weep with you then rejoice in your most wonderful moments....and being willing to do the same for them!
Intentional Priorities- Do NOT be exclusive in your friendships. Encourage friendships with other women as well. Jealousy will breed discontentment and will kill friendships.

What will make friendships go sour and even die?

gossip
comparison
unequally yoked (you can be invested in many people's lives, but only go very deeply with those who share your same devotion to Christ)
jealousy (ie. girl drama)
unmet expectations

Making friends and keeping friends sometimes can be a hard business....but it is so very important to our lives. This continues to be a challenge to me to make time and priorities for some real deep and meaningful friendships!